This is Sam (not his real name) and he is 10 years old. Sam is a huge Sherlock fan and yesterday I did a hastily arranged Sherlock Walking Tour for him and his mother from Ukraine.
This is my first Sherlock Walking Tour since 2019 due to Covid and the government also making it illegal for me to work or indeed leave home but Excluded from all monetary support that everyone else enjoyed despite my being so good and my very original tour being so unique that I was hired by the BBC and Comic Relief to do a very special Sherlock tour. Supporting BBC Comic Relief with a very special Sherlock tour
Sam is one of the nicest people I have met and why I love my job. He broke my heart, or what’s left of it. He had to speak to me in broken English and I had to speak to him in my 30 year old memories of German.
He was understandably worried and sad about the world but was so excited for our tour we had to find toilets twice!!! How excited must that have been?
Afterwards he told me it was the best day of his life but he seemed sad. I thought perhaps it was because of the war but it wasn’t he was sad as he had to say bye to me.
This photo is where Sherlock / Benedict died. Look at his face, so happy… and that is from me
Later on I had to pause the tour as I carried an old ladies suitcase up the stairs at a tube station. She said that she thought her hip was better than it was after her operation so would have to come up with a better plan…. She laughed so much when I said yeah, find a tube station with escalators.
The tourist mother said she’d never been in a tour where the guide stops to help old ladies. I missed helping people in that way.
If the government doesn’t value tourism or guides, then they don’t value happiness, laughter or dreams and that’s what we all need the most, especially if you are 10 and from Ukraine or indeed 48 and in London but discriminated and persecuted by your government.
His mother said that he sees people in England sending letters to each other in films and television shows but he has never had a letter in his whole life. So I got his address and will send him a letter and my most child friendly book as a little surprise. And as the Sherlock museum was closed due to covid, I will send him a little something from the home of his hero. What a neat surprise!
Whether you’re a murderous dictator like Putin or an incompetent corrupt, adulterous, incoherent, criminal halfwit like Boris or indeed a heartless yes-man like my MP Oliver Dowden it is clear the the human spirit cannot be crushed and one day Ukraine will again be free and Putin will be 6 feet under with any luck and my murderous government will be given the boot too for 3 million #Excluded hate them with every bit of intensity as Ukranians hate Putin.
Ukraine has a President who used to be a comedian, we have a Prime Minister who is a total clown. One man leads his country in war, the other couldn’t lead his own funeral.
And as all the Conservative MPs and government keep trying to be popular by speaking up for Ukraine, the people who cut my hair are Ukranian and I can say without hesitation that they think the government is total scum for treating 3 million people like myself.