All these years that I have been blogging and only around 2 or 3 countries have never visited my blog. This is my concerted effort to get 1 viewer from one such country, North Korea. If this doesn’t work then I’m just going to go to Seoul airport and have some cool young lady squirt gel in my face…. or something.
I’m not sure if it is the same today but one of the things that I used to do at school when it was too wet or snowy in the winter was hang around shady school corridors and classrooms at break and trade cards.
There were a whole host of cards to collect and swap. Top Trumps were always the best. Nothing to do with controversial president but you could collect cards on various subjects and them play them. Whether they were cars, planes, space vehicles, weapons, animals or whatever, some had high scoring attributes and some were a sure way thing to lose a game.
Lots of people collected football stickers or other themes that involved buying packs of 6 stickers to fill up a 500 sticker album and whatever the theme of publisher, it was always guaranteed that you’d end up with multiple copies of the same lousy and generally ugly player from Spurs when what you really needed was the shiny foil club badge of St Mirren.
On a totally different level for the more demented children amongst us and I very much include myself in this were the Garbage Pail Gang. They were cards of mutated and utterly unlovely characters that were very opposite of the then popular Cabbage Patch Kids.
There were all sorts of freaky characters that boys used to like and girls used to find largely gross. I never actually expected however that one day, one of these characters would actually be in control of a whole country, even if it is pretty much the worst country.
Watching the news recently, it dawned on me where I had seen North Korean President Kim Jong-un before.
He is surely the spitting image of Adam Bomb who I hadn’t seen since around 1986. They both have the same obese appearance which is made worse by a stupid hair cut. Fantastically, they both seem to like nuclear weapons. In the defence of Adam Bomb, his hair cut just looks stupid because of a thermo-nuclear explosion coming out of his head.
Kim Jong-un has no such excuse. You’d think all those generals that follow him around taking notes and laughing at his jokes might have pointed it out to him?
Hair-cuts are just one of, well everything that is tightly regulated in North Korea. Men and women can both choose from 15 approved hair-cuts although a small amount of personalised deviation is not unknown.
Going from the above, it doesn’t look like women have to bad a deal when it comes to the cut of their hair. As opposed to the unfortunate men of North Korea who just seem to have an awful choice. I don’t think I would do very well in North Korea, my hair hasn’t been 2cm short since about 1974.
In the spirit of this light-hearted piece, I’ve just noticed that the chap in the middle of the poster above in the red shirt, looks rather like Ruth Davidson, leader of the Scottish Conservative Party.
Interestingly, no men are allowed to have the same hair-cut as their president. I’m sure this is a relief to millions of men in North Korea. I could say that a small part of me would be disappointed at not being able to look like a real-life Dr. Evil but that would be a lie.
Maybe it is a presidential thing as you don’t see many in the USA with a Trump hairstyle either.
A hair salon in North London was visited by officials from the North Korean Embassy after they used a poster of the glorious leader to advertise cheese, I mean hair cuts. I know lots of people are executed or disappear in North Korea but obviously, somehow, the spaced out barber keeps his job purge after purge.
Thinking about it, I think I prefer Dr. Evil to Kim Jong-un who in comparison is just the diet coke of evil.
It’s nice to see that the Garbage Pail Kids are still going strong. In a way, maybe we should be grateful Kim Jong-un is the only wacko in charge as the world would be in real trouble if either of those below ever got elected.