Losing your marbles – A real life conversation!

Yesterday morning I had an early morning appointment at the garage to get my car serviced.  Happily it passed its test but instead of waiting around the garage for an hour, I went into town to buy some provisions and visit the bank.

Whilst I was standing outside the bank, waiting for it to open at 9am, I couldn’t help but observe the following conversation between two extremely elderly men who were also out and about.  Part of the conversation made me laugh, part of it was as frustrating as pulling teeth and part of it just made me sad.

Getting old isn’t the best thing in the world but it is a lot better than not being given the opportunity to get old.  It seems these two characters below might not have much working anymore except for a fighting spirit when most people 70 years younger will still likely having breakfast or even in bed.

I’ve never witnessed such a conversation before but having lived every funny yet excruciating moment of it, the entirety is now seared in my memory for all time.

Statler and Waldorf bench.jpg

 

Old Man 1: Alright mate?

Old Man 2: What?

Old Man 1: Alright mate?

Old Man 2: Oh hello!

Old Man 1: How are you?

Old Man 2: What?

Old Man 1: How are you?

Old Man 2: What?

Old Man 1: How are you mate?

Old Man 2: We’re getting old now.

Old Man 1: What?

Old Man 2: We’re getting old mate.

Old Man 1: You what mate?

Old Man 2: We’re getting old mate.

Old Man 1: I can’t hear you mate.  I’m getting old.

Old Man 2: You what?  I can’t hear you well. Me ears have gone. I’m getting old mate.

<Both men nod in agreement>

Old Man 1: Anyway nice seeing you Sid.

Old Man 2: What mate?

Old Man 1: Nice seeing you Sid.

Old Man 2: I didn’t catch that mate.

Old Man 1: I said, nice seeing you Sid.

Old Man 2: Oh yeah.  Sorry mate, I couldn’t hear you.  Nice seeing you too Mick.

Old Man 1: I’m not Mick.

Old Man 2: You what mate?

Old Man 1: I’m not Mick.

Old Man 2: Sorry mate, can’t hear you.  We must be getting old.

Old Man 1: I said, I’m not Sid, Mick.

Old Man 2: Oh sorry mate.  I can’t see very well without my glasses. Who are you then?

Old Man 1: I’m Ted, Mick.

Old Man 2: Sorry Ted.

Old Man 1: You what mate?

Old Man 2: Sorry Ted.

Old Man 1: That’s ok Mick.

Old Man 2: Why do you keep calling me Mick? Ted.

Old Man 1: I can’t hear you mate.

Old Man 2: Why do you keep calling me Mick?

Old Man 1: That’s your name!

Old Man 2: You what mate?

Old Man 1: I said, that’s your name.

Old Man 2: No it’s not mate.  I’m Joe.

Old Man 1: Didn’t get that Mick, can you speak up mate?

Old Man 2: I said, I’m not Mick, I’m Joe.

Old Man 1: Oh yeah, sorry mate.  I mean’t Joe.  Losing my memory, must be getting old.

Old Man 2: Can’t hear you mate.  We must be getting old.  See you next week Ted.

Old Man 1: See you next week Mick.

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About Stephen Liddell

I am a writer and traveller with a penchant for history and getting off the beaten track. With several books to my name including a #1 seller, I also write environmental, travel and history articles for magazines as well as freelance work. Recently I've appeared on BBC Radio and Bloomberg TV and am waiting on the filming of a ghost story on British TV. I run my own private UK tours company (Ye Olde England Tours) with small, private and totally customisable guided tours run by myself!
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16 Responses to Losing your marbles – A real life conversation!

  1. Amy Reese says:

    Haha. Funny, but yes frustrating! At least they don’t give up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, full marks for perseverance. I was thinking that only about 1% of their conversation was actually understood by both men without having to repeat anything. I was willing each of them to be able to understand the other. They did make me smile 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Mouse says:

    Hahaha! That was brilliant! Thanks for sharing, Stephen. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. smhusain1 says:

    I am not very far from the scenario. But text could be understood better.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. O totally love this! I’m no spring chicken …I hope my sense of humor is the last thing to ‘go’

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You have to have a sense of humor when you get older. It beats most medications. Very funny piece.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sandra says:

    Reminds me of my mother’s favorite British ditty (Britty?)…
    Two old farts cruising along the road:
    “Is this Wembly?”
    “No, this is Thursday.”
    “Well let’s stop and ‘ave a drink then!”

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Tim says:

    LOL. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

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