November is NaNoWriMo month

November is the month that can bring whoops of delight and shudders of fear amongst writers around the globe.  It is of course NaNoWrimo or National Novel Writing Month for those not in the know.  It is an event that brings hundreds of thousands of writers at all levels or experience and ability and leads them on a roller-coaster ride towards a completed novel of 50,000 words.

I’ve never been a big fan of Nanowrimo and as I have got more into my writing and maybe even slightly better at it, my enthusiasm for it has only steadily reduced.  Nanowrimo can be good, it engenders a sense of community and camaraderie.  Bashing out those 1,667 words every day to make that target can be slightly addictive especially when you see that purple progress bar get ever lengthier.

I always enjoyed reading the forums on the site.  Reading the trials and tribulations, the successes and failures.  There are a lot of failures with only around 20% of writers who started the month in a blaze of glory still there at the bitter end.

Beware all those who enter in.

Beware all those who enter in.

Nanowrimo teaches the important discipline of writing every day.  Writing when you can’t be bothered, writing when you’ve had a bad day at work. Getting experience of plotting and just getting a significant number of words down onto paper.   No matter how hard you find it, there will always be some poor sucker whose writing in a freezing tower block with no light, heating and intermittent power.  Their partner has walked out on them, they have the worst job in the world and their computer barely works and even when it does, the keyboard is missing all the vowels.

For everyone else though, I think Nanowrimo is a bit of a waste of time.  For a start, 50,000 words does not a novel make.  Most novels are substantially longer with many double or triple the length.  Writing 50,000 words gives you something of a Novella which is all well and good but it’s not a real novel.

Nanowrimo also places far too much emphasis on quantity over quality, in fact quality barely even comes into the equation.  Even if you do manage the 50,000 words, the resulting work will be the roughest of rough drafts.  Plot and character points may likely have been compromised in order to make the word-count.  Personally speaking I’d rather write a little less but be sure that what I wrote makes sense and maybe needs only a few revisions rather than countless revisions.

Writing a novel or even a blog for that matter is a marathon, not a sprint.  Even that most prolific of writers Stephen King has stated that a novel needs the minimum of 3 months work and he writes for a job and probably has a better idea of what is going on than most Nanowrimo devotees.

If you take part in Nanowrimo for fun or as a way to dip your toe into writing then that’s great but if you can only do something because hundreds of thousands of people are giving moral support then maybe writing isn’t for you.  When it comes down to it like anything else, the motivation for writing has to come from the inside.  No-one can really make you train for years to become a successful marathon runner as opposed to someone who hobbles over the finish line as they only ran to get the bus a week earlier instead of putting in the required hours.

Writing is very much the same.  It is something that you can only become competent at or even skilful at with constant practice and dedication.  There will be days where it is a battle to write down more than a few words whilst just when you don’t expect it you might find inspiration to pen 7,000 words in one session.  The overbearing 50,000 target of Nanowrimo can actually out people off writing for ever.  People become aware that their prose is awful or that the word limit is excessive for beginners with a real-world life to live and so never give the craft the chance it and they deserve.

Even if you love writing, jumping at the deep end and writing 50,000 unplotted words can lead to a serious overdose.  Writing a novel is much more than the word total, yes even this sub-length novella word-total.  From my experience such as it is, the more experienced a writer, the less enthralled they are with Nanowrimo and book publishers are even less enthralled still.

If you really want to do Nanowrimo, my advice is don’t.  For those determined to give it a go anyway, this is my advice:

1. Prepare at least a vague plot, with characters and motivations.  Any time lost will be more than made up when you have the story mapped out ahead of you instead of wondering what happens next.

2. Write every day.  Especially in the first weeks, missing the odd day here or there means that required word count each day rapidly escalates.  If possible write at the same time every day.

3. Don’t stop at the 1,667 daily limit if you still have the urge to write.  I would always aim for a minimum of 2,000 words a day which gave me a form of insurance for unforeseen emergencies or days later in the month when I couldn’t write due to illness or mental exhaustion!  Write 2,000 words a day and you’ll break the back of that 50,000 total quickly and with no pressure as panic mounts in the forums.

4. Never finish your writing session at the end of a chapter or paragraph or even sentence.  You haven’t the time to waste wondering how to start off each session so finishing a session mid-sentence gives you an easy start to get you going.  Consider writing a few key words for the next day to really get you going quickly.

5. Nanowrimo really will take over your life.  Make things easy for yourself and plan your life a little before you begin.  Make sure your friends and family know you are not to be disturbed until 1st December.

Only a few hundred of the hundreds of thousands who start Nanowrimo come away with a publishable novel.  That’s because completing Nanowrimo, as big an achievement as it is, is only the start.  There will follow many rounds of revision, vast swathes of the text deleted and much more added to get to the correct word-count.  Even after that, only a handful will be published professionally as opposed to self-published.  In many ways Nanowrimo is like watching the early rounds of X-Factor or American Idol with countless, hopeless people trying to instantly become the next J.K. Rowling.   The vast majority get rooted out early on.  A small minority make it to the show proper and though perhaps more talented than the average person, in a very raw and unfinished way, are still not really worth listening to.  Only the winner has a real shot at a career and even then, most are instantly forgotten as they just not as determined, experienced or as good as musicians who’ve made it big the old fashioned way, with hard work and a bit of luck. Most musicians have to practice and perform in unglamorous locations for years or decades and even if good, never quite get a lucky break even if they do get enjoyment from it.  Writing is like that and anyone doing Nanowrimo should know it.

That’s okay though, unlike many things in the world today, writing takes time, effort and dedication.  Writing a novel is not something you can purchase. It isn’t disposable and if you succeed then you really deserve all those congratulations.  If not then maybe at least you’ll have discovered a new hobby and gained a new appreciation for writers everywhere be they novelists, journalists, academics or movie screenplays.

To be me though you’d be better off writing something, anything every day or at least very regularly.  I always remember when the pop group The Spice Girls split up.  Nothing in the intervening years has convinced me that they had much natural talent for singing at all.  However as a reviewer in a UK national newspaper put it, their final releases were much better and less grating than their early performances.  The music journalist put it that even someone with no talent will get better to a certain extent with lots of practice.  Writing is a day-in, day-out pursuit not just for 1 month a year but 12 months a year.  It’s not particularly abotu quantity but quality and so unlike Nanowrimo it involves as much care of plotting, characterisation, and descriptive narrative as word count.


It’s been said that a room full of monkeys with typewriters will eventually produce the works of Shakespeare. They’ve got as much chance as Nanowrimo.

Just do your writing in a way that is best for you, not to take part in big event.  If you story is only 40,000 words then don’t pad it out.  If your plot is complicated and you can only do 500 words a session, 3 days a week then that is the way to go.  Most of all, enjoy it and have fun.  I know I enjoyed Nanowrimo Novembers and all the hellish jubilation they brought.  I just found it never suited my way of writing and so isn’t for me.

I’d love to hear whether you’ve taken part in Nanowrimo or whether you have any opinions on it?

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The tragic genius of Alan Turing and The Imitation Game

If you’re not familiar with the name Alan Turing, the chances are that you soon will be with the release of the new film, The Imitation Game, starring Benedict Cumberbatch in the starring role.   Alan Turing holds a unique place in history as being someone who not only one of the greatest minds in history who helped save his country and the free world in WW2 but one whose personal life was mired in secrecy which led to a terrible end for him and a shame to his country and a loss to the world.

Alan Turing

Alan Turing

Alan Turing was born on 23rd June 1912 in Paddington, London and spent his youth split between time in Hastings and in India where his father worked in the civil service.  Even at school his genius was apparent to his schoolmaster as he excelled at both maths and sciences and by the age of 16 he was already extrapolating on the works of Albert Einstein and Sir Isaac Newton.  After studying and graduating from Cambridge University, he immediately became a Fellow due to a pioneering paper he wrote.  He spent the 1930s studying, lecturing and working in the fields of mathematics and computing which naturally led to him taking up a position in the Government Code and Cypher School, what is today known around the world as GCHQ.

When war was declared Alan Turing became a leading figure in the vital work at Bletchley Park.  Nazi Germany used a coded system of communication which allowed military and secret agents to communicate through what is popularly known as the Enigma machine.   Prime Minster Churchill realised that breaking this code was vital to the war effort and far-sightedly poured unlimited resources into the project.

Plaque on the wall of the house that Alan Turing lived in at Wilmslow, Cheshire.

One of the original computers at Bletchley Park

Breaking the enigma code was possibly the most top-secret project of WW2 and even people working in neighbouring rooms at Bletchley had no idea of what those next door were doing and everyone knew not to talk about their work.

Alan Turing was known as something of an eccentric and would be known as The Prof.  A colleague later remembered how in the first week of June each year he would get a bad attack of hay fever, and he would cycle to the office wearing a service gas mask to keep the pollen off. His bicycle had a fault: the chain would come off at regular intervals. Instead of having it mended he would count the number of times the pedals went round and would get off the bicycle in time to adjust the chain by hand. Another of his eccentricities is that he chained his mug to the radiator pipes to prevent it being stolen.

Turing was also an accomplished runner and would often run the 40 miles from Bletchley to high-level meetings in London and after the war he almost made the 1948 Olympic team.

Through brave work by the Poles early on in the war and a daring mission by the Royal Navy roughly imitated in the Hollywood film U-571 and many years of painstaking work, the team at Bletchley managed to break the code and for the rest of the war successfully decoded so much of the communications that Churchill believed it shortened the length of the war by two years.

Alan Turing worked in Hut 8 and personally took on the challenge of working on the German Navy enigma codes.  His work was deemed to important that it remained classified and Top Secret for 70 years.

So successful was the team that in order to avoid arousing German suspicions that the code had been broke, Churchill sacrificed the city of Coventry to a devastating bombing raid. A transmission was intercepted from Germany detailing how and when Coventry was going to be all but wiped off the face of the earth. The RAF could have stopped it but this would have alerted German suspicions and so the city was entirely destroyed by the Luftwaffe, a sacrifice the city made in the cause of freedom.

After the war in 1945,  Alan Turing was awarded an OBE by King George VI but his work remained secret and even his colleagues admitted that his great achievements and breakthroughs had gone largely unknown and un-acknowledged.

As you can probably imagine, Alan Turing had a brilliant mind and as a still young man you might wonder why you have not heard much about his later life.  After the war, he could have turned his hand to being the worlds leading expert in a number of specialities but he concentrated on his Automatic Computing Engine as well as taking up posts at Cambridge and then Manchester universities.   He was the first person to properly quantify what real Artificial Intelligence could be defined as the Turing Test.  A real Artificial Intelligence could only be acknowledged if an interrogator couldn’t tell the difference between the responses of the computer and that of an adult.  Alan Turing also deduced that the best way to achieve this was not to construct a computer with the abilities of an adult human but to create a child like device which had the capability of learning and growing as a young human would.

Statue if Alan Turing on a park bench in Manchester.

Statue if Alan Turing on a park bench in Manchester.

In 1948, Turing began working on a computer chess programme but upon its completion 2 years later, the proposed computer was still not powerful enough to run the software and so Alan Turing put the programme into practice where he emulated the computer against humans.  Whilst the simulated game was not sufficient to beat other computer scientists, it was sufficient to beat more typical human beings!

In January 1952, Alan Turing stuck up a relationship with Arnold Murray who aged 19 was 20 years his junior.  The pair had met in the Oxford Road area of Manchester and they jointly decided to enjoy personal relations with each other.  A few days later, Alan Turing’s house was burgled and he went to the police.  The resulting investigation brought up the fact that the two men had consented to homosexual behaviour.  Turing took the advice to plead guilty to breaking Section 11 of the 1885 Criminal Law Amendment Act and was given the choice of imprisonment or a years course of chemical and hormonal treatments to change his behaviour which today would be thought a terribly inhumane and degrading punishment with several negative side effects.

Alan Turing emerged a broken man.  As a convicted criminal he lost his privileges and abilities to continue his work on cryptology for the British government and the lucrative projects he had been working on in the United States from which he was now barred.

Original German Enigma Machine

Original German Enigma Machine

In fact, he was now considered a security risk, mostly because the Soviet Union had agents who had been ensnaring British and American personnel with homosexual lifestyles and the then recent shock of two Cambridge academics being uncovered as being KGB double agents.

On the 8th June 1954, Alan Turing was discovered dead by his house-keeper.  He had died a day earlier from cyanide poisoning with a half eaten apple laying near his body (something which has been rumoured though denied to have inspired the Apple Computers Logo).  A Coroner decided it was suicide and on the 12th June, Alan Turing was cremated and his ashes scattered at Woking Crematorium as his father had been before him.

It has been proposed that Alan may have died accidentally due to his casual treatment of chemicals in his experiments or even that he had been murdered.  It was his habit to eat half an apple before he went to bed and he would simply discard the remainder for his housekeeper to collect.

Plaque on the wall of the house that Alan Turing lived in at Wilmslow, Cheshire.

Plaque on the wall of the house that Alan Turing lived in at Wilmslow, Cheshire.

It took several years before Alan Turing began to be remembered for his achievements and brilliance rather than his supposed flaws and by the 60’s and 70’s his name was lending itself to studies, institutions and scientific contests.  However to the wider public, his name was forgotten.  His achievements were partially remembered but his crime and suicide overshadowed this and it was not until societal changes in the 1980’s and 90’s that he became more widely remembered.  In truth though it was only in the 21st Century when the country had liberalised further so that the status of gay men became open and irrelevant rather than hidden and shameful that the first moves were made to rehabilitate Alan Turing and then shortly after that to pardon him.

There was a new feeling of appalling shame and disgust that someone who had given so much for his country had been treated so badly and felt forced to commit suicide for what is now a non-issue.

Following a public petition, on 10th September 2009 the Prime Minister Gordon Brown issued an official apology for the appalling treatment which had been inflicted upon Alan Turing

Thousands of people have come together to demand justice for Alan Turing and recognition of the appalling way he was treated. While Turing was dealt with under the law of the time and we can’t put the clock back, his treatment was of course utterly unfair and I am pleased to have the chance to say how deeply sorry I and we all are for what happened to him … So on behalf of the British government, and all those who live freely thanks to Alan’s work I am very proud to say: we’re sorry, you deserved so much better.

However due to Turing being convicted of an actual legal offence which at the time he knew was illegal and which the norms of the time demanded he be charged with, it took another few years before he was officially pardoned.  Though Parliament had already started debating the issue, the government decided that to speed things up, the ancient Royal Perogative Of Mercy should be applied which the Queen signed off in August 2014.  This was only the 4th such time that an official Royal Pardon had been granted since WW2 for someone who had been legally convicted of a crime.

The Imitation Machine opens on October 31st across the U.K.

Promotional Poster for The Imitation Game

Promotional Poster for The Imitation Game

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The Lochnagar Crater and a relic of war

At the end of September I visited some of the WW1 battlefields in northern France and Belgium and thought in the lead up to Armistice Day on 11th November I would dedicate some of my posts to what I saw.

One of the places that we visited was the Lochnagar Crater in The Somme.  This huge crater was created by 24 tonnes of explosive and along with around 16 others heralded the start of the infamous Battle of The Somme.  They were the largest explosive devices ever created at that time and incredibly shook the windows of houses in London 200 odd miles away across the sea in England.

Lochnagar Crater

Lochnagar Crater

As witnessed from the air by 2nd Lieutenant C.A. Lewis of No. 3 Squadron RFC:

The whole earth heaved and flashed, a tremendous and magnificent column rose up in the sky. There was an ear-splitting roar drowning all the guns, flinging the machine sideways in the repercussing air. The earth column rose higher and higher to almost 4,000 feet. There it hung, or seemed to hang, for a moment in the air, like the silhouette of some great cypress tree, then fell away in a widening cone of dust and debris.

Some Ration Party

Somme Ration Party

The Somme was a battle and a disaster as big as is imaginable with 60,000 British casualties on the first day with entire military units disappearing in seconds.  The battle had been preceded by weeks of heavy artillery shelling which the generals thought would be enough to kill any opposition.  However the Germans who survived the shock of the initial bombardment hid away relatively safely in underground shelters.  When the shelling ceased a few minutes before the battle commenced, it merely gave them notice that something was about to happen.

Sunken Road

Soldiers waiting for the whistles to blow at 7.30am on July 12st 1916.

The British Tommies has been told the barbed wire in No-Mans Land would have been vapourised, it wasn’t.  They were told the German soldiers would be dead or have fled, they weren’t.  They were ordered to walk and indeed in places men were told they would be shot if they ran for disobeying orders and so a generation of young men walked bravely into a hail of machine gun bullets.

Video of an actual WW1 Somme mine explosion. This was filmed almost precisely where the photo of the men above was taken.

The mines were timed to go off at 7.28am  with the attack at 7.30am but this 2 minute gap allowed the Germans to set up positions ready to fire on anyone who approached.  At least one mine went off 10 minutes early and another went off late killing all the advancing soldiers who had gone over the top.  Others would get buried alive or terribly injured by the falling debris that had gone thousands of feet up in the air.

It was the biggest single loss of life in British history and along with the French in Verdun, hard to imagine any modern battle ever surpassing that dreadful tally.

Relic of The Somme

Almost 300ft (91m) in diameter and 70ft (21m) deep.

Most of these massive craters have long since been levelled out but Lochnagar Crater was bought by an Englishman to protect it going into the future.  It is now visited quite a lot by school children and war tourists.  This area was in the sector of the Grimsby Chums who eventually successfully occupied it despite at times coming under both enemy and British artillery fire.  There is a memorial at the centre of the crater along with a cross from Tyneside.

Lochnagar Crater

How many soldiers lie buried under the crater and surrounding fields?

It was from the vicinity of the Lochnagar Crater that I brought back a WW1 era British bayonet.  You can find anything on the battlefields if you have the time and patience to distinguish iron and steel remains from the very stony soil.  Shrapnel, bullets, barbed wire, artillery shells are some of the things I have found on my visits here.  In fact farmers frequently leave piles of ammunition at the sides of their fields as there were so many million fired and a third of them failed to detonate.

British WW1 era bayonet

British WW1 era bayonet

Here is my WW1 British bayonet of a design circa 1906 and had likely been buried in the mud since 1st July 1916 when its unfortunate previous owner met his end.  It’s quite a heavy item and still sharp.  You can see the handle suffers a little from rot or insect infestation but considering what it has been through, it isn’t in bad condition.

You can see where the bayonet handle has slightly decomposed due to a century in the mud.

You can see where the bayonet handle has slightly decomposed due to a century in the mud.

I can’t see any serial number on the blade so I can’t ever really narrow down who it was who once used it however for as long as I’m on this planet then I for one will always remember them.

Bayonet Sight

Here you can see where the bayonet attached to the rifle and the firing sight.

For more information on the Battle of The Somme, check out my book, Lest We Forget published by Endeavour Press of London and available on Kindle and in Paperback.

Lest We Forget

My easy to understand but comprehensive history of WW1 in Kindle and Paperback.

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Edward Jenner – The greatest man you might never have heard of

This morning I received my free Flu vaccination and a time when nearly all of us are fortunate enough to receive vaccinations and inoculations for many illnesses from the winter flu upwards it is well worth remembering that there was once a time when people weren’t so lucky.  When there were countless diseases and infections that were every bit as deadly and even more untreatable than Ebola has been until at least very recently.

In Victorian Britain, people were considered lucky to reach their 40th birthday and yet this in itself is a much longer life than was enjoyed in the preceding centuries.

The very fact that you are reading this blog today may well be due to one man, Edward Jenner.  He was born on 17th January 1749 and is widely considered to be the father of immunology.   His work not just in creating a vaccine for smallpox but also on vaccinations generally mean that he has no doubt saved more lives than anyone before or since.

Portrait of Edward Jenner by James Northcote

Portrait of Edward Jenner by James Northcote

Born the son of  a Reverend in the small Gloucester town of Berkeley, Edward Jenner was fortunate to receive a good education.  At the age of 14 he became an apprentice to the surgeon Daniel Ludlow for 7 years which gave him the grounding for his future career.

Working under the auspices of the legendary surgeon, John Hunter, he was part of a small team of men who worked to bring medicine from being something of a best-guess butchery to a modern science.

Science played an important role in every aspect of Edward Jenners life.  He even met his wife during an experience with balloons, his society of friends recently discovering and isolating the first gasses including Hydrogen and Oxgyen, when a balloon filled with gas landed in the grounds of an estate where Catherine Kingscote lived.

Though there was an inoculation method against Smallpox that had long been used by the Ottomans in Istanbul, 20% of those died and 60% of those inoculated went on to endure full blown Smallpox which was a terrible disease that killed many and left survivors disfigured in a way unimaginable to us today.

Far from today when celebrities are ditching milk and dairy products in the belief that it helps their skin, back in the 18th century it was a well known belief that milk-maids generally had much better health than the general population.  Their skin was healthy and attractive to look at and more importantly they never seemed to contract Smallpox.

Milkmaids did however suffer from Cowpox, a disease transmitted from cows and with similar but infinitely milder symptoms than Smallpox.  In fact when a town or village suffered from a deadly Smallpox outbreak, it was a pretty safe bet that milkmaids would not be affected at all.

Edward Jenner postulated that the pus that was inside the blisters of cowpox somehow offered the milkmaids a natural protection against the disease and putting into practice the medical saying of the time “don’t think, try”, he wanted to prove it.

On 14th May 1796 scraped the pus from the blister of a milkmaid named Sarah Nelmes who contracted Cowpox from her cow, Blossom.  Jenner then proceeded to infect James Phipps, the 8 year old son of his garden with the Cowpox puss.  The young boy became somewhat ill from a fever but did not develop the disease itself.  Then Edward Jenner injected the boy with Smallpox not just on one occasion but twice.  Little James Phipps did not fall ill with Smallpox and was totally unharmed and he had also become the first person in the world to be successfully treated with a safe inoculation.

Jenner’s unique contribution was not that he inoculated a few persons with cowpox, but that he then proved  that they were immune to smallpox. Moreover, he demonstrated that the protective cowpox pus could be effectively inoculated from person to person, not just directly from cattle.Jenner successfully tested his hypothesis on 23 additional subjects.


Contemporary image illustrating the first recipients of the vaccine wondering whether they will take on cow like characteristics.

Jenner continued his research and reported it to the Royal Society, which did not publish the initial paper. After revisions and further investigations, he published his findings on the 23 cases. Some of his conclusions were correct, some erroneous. The medical establishment, cautious then as now, deliberated at length over his findings before accepting them. Eventually, vaccination was accepted, and in 1840, the British government banned variolation – the use of smallpox to induce immunity – and provided vaccination using cowpox free of charge. The success of his discovery soon spread around Europe and and the world. Jenner himself wrote, “I don’t imagine the annals of history furnish an example of philanthropy so noble, so extensive as this.”

Such was the importance of Jenner’s work that he was unable to take up paid work at his medical practice and so the King and Parliament agreed to fund his work with donations of first £10,000 and then £20,000.

In January 1823, Edward Jenner was discovered partially paralysed after apparently suffering a stroke and he died just days afterwards at the age of 73.

Memorial to Edward Jenner in Gloucester Cathedral.  Photo by Andrew Rabbott.

Memorial to Edward Jenner in Gloucester Cathedral. Photo by Andrew Rabbott.

His legacy to medicine and the world at large is unquantifiable and in 1979 the World Health Organisation formally declared that Smallpox had been eradicated.  Jenner’s work has gone on to the basis of modern immunology that the vast majority of the world now receive shortly after birth.

Though many do not know anything of Edward Jenner, it is likely that in some-way most of us owe our existence to him in some way.  He is commemorated across southern England in understated ways with statues, hospital wards and colleges bearing his name. His former home now a small museum whilst a number of small villages in Pennsylvania are named after the great man as well as a crater on the moon. The hide of Blossom the cow is mounted on the walls of St George’s Medical School Library in Tooting.

Since I wrote this post earlier this week, I have started watching the TV show The Walking Dead which for 2 episodes in season 1 feature a man working in a laboratory trying to find a cure for the disease.  His name was Edwin Jenner.

In 2002 Edward Jenner was named number 78 on the list of Greatest Britons poll.

Memorial to Edward Jenner in Kensington Gardens.  Photo  by Iridescent

Memorial to Edward Jenner in Kensington Gardens. Photo by Iridescent

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An unapologetic guide to saying Sorry

When was the last time you said Sorry to someone?  It’s not something that any of us like to do and it is something that many of us don’t do.  Often it is the people who should say Sorry the most that do so the least.

Saying sorry implies that you did something wrong and doing something wrong is just a few steps away from being a bad person.  Few of us actively want to be wrong, we try to look out for people and take into considerations others when deciding upon our own course of action.  We might perform charitable works, give up our seat for the elderly.  We may even vote for political parties that may penalise us but we don’t mind because we know that actually other people are less fortunate than ourselves.  Then we go and mess things up by doing something wrong or bad even if accidentally or on the spur of the moment and it impacts on others.

Sometimes not saying sorry when it is appropriate can be a bigger problem than the original even that caused the situation in the first place.

Personally I say sorry all the time but not necessarily for things many people do.  Being one of those old fashioned English type people, I apologise to others for incidents that are not my fault at all for example someone standing on my foot on the train or even if someone gets wet in the rain or bangs their foot on a table leg.  I’m just sorry for whatever it was that has happened whether I caused it or didn’t.

I don’t tend to say sorry for many things I do.  To a large extent this is probably because I put a great deal of effort into not doing anything bad in the first place.  I’m not one to do something just to make a point or to put myself first above others.  Life would be easier sometimes if I did but 9 times out of 10 if there is a course of action that would be entirely justifiable to take and that most others would, I won’t just on the off-chance it upsets someone.

In fact my wife and I who have now been married 7 years have never had a real argument.  Those times we do get slightly unhappy are usually caused by people who act entirely thoughtlessly towards one or both of us especially when we put a lot of thought or energy in how we treat others.  What disagreements we do have can often come from the fact that we both put the other first to such a degree that we assume we shouldn’t do something for ourselves or make ourselves happy in our own way.

As big as I am at saying sorry for things that aren’t my fault or not doing things in case it might make people unhappy, on the few times I do something because I want to put myself first and it does upset someone else, well then I don’t really apologise for it.  If I did a course of action then I really wanted to do it and I am really not sorry for that even if it makes someone on that instance think I am selfish or horrid in some-way.

I don’t think I have any enemies, I don’t think I have ever been deliberately bad to anyone.  I’m always told how everyone loves me or that I am the nicest or sweetest person they know.  I’m sure there may be one or two who think differently in the old world of work but they were largely horrid, selfish or bullying people to begin with and though I wouldn’t be horrible to them, I would just refuse to buy in to their self-proclaimed awesome personality and make no effort whatsoever to be anything but workmanlike with them.

However there are times in life where you just have to say sorry.  If you don’t then it takes a way a little something about you.  If you don’t care about this then you’re probably the sort of person who doesn’t take others into consideration in the first place.

Firstly, don’t try putting yourself into someone else’s shoes.   Don’t think that because an event wouldn’t upset you that it wouldn’t upset them.   You might have some idea of what someone else thinks but you can never really be sure.

If you are sorry for something then just come out and say so.  Don’t beat about the bush and do it half-heartedly by saying I’m sorry you feel that way or that you’re sorry if someone took something the wrong way.  A real apology consists of you admitting that you did something and it made something happen and that you are sorry you did that thing and that that something happened.

If you can’t admit that you were the cause of the unhappiness or offence then think it through more and if you still can’t see the issues then maybe you have to decide that either you did nothing wrong or that you don’t care that you did.  Maybe even say just that.

If you are genuinely sorry then work towards remedying the offending situation and even better make sure that it doesn’t happen again but don’t expect the injured party to help you if you’re the sole person who screwed up.

Never ever start you apology with a “I’m sorry but”.  There are not ifs buts or maybe in an apology and these terms make it an argument or opinion but not an apology.   If you are really sorry then your opinions or extenuating circumstances are not important at this time.  What is important is what you did wrong and the feelings of those you’ve bruised.  It doesn’t matter if the other person did something wrong too, they can apologise for themselves after you’ve finished or at a later date and if they don’t then it doesn’t mean you can retract a real apology.

Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that just because you apologise, it doesn’t mean that the other person has to accept it.  They might not want anything more to do with you whether they accept your apology or not.  They can have nothing more to do with you either way and that is perfectly legitimate for them.  You don’t just apologise to someone else to make them feel better but because it is the right thing to do for you and if you have wronged or alienated someone and apologised or tried to apologise to them and they want nothing more to do with you then you can’t hold that against them as it was you who changed the natural foundations on which your shared relationship was based and we all know what it is like when things happen to us.  Sometimes you can get over it, others you decide to move on without them.

I hope you enjoyed reading this, I really do but if not then I am genuinely sorry.


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Dick Turpin Highwayman – Stand and Deliver

For millennia, travelling by land across the British Isles was a dangerous and slow business.  Most people when they could travelled by boat on rivers and along the sea-coast and later by canals.

Travelling by land was a slow and arduous thing to do at the best of times.  After the Romans, the roads largely fell into disrepair and stayed that way until the turnpikes moved us towards modernity.  To make it worse, much of the land was forested with wolves and bears lurking in the darkness.  Isolated and impoverished hill-billy villagers from time to time did travellers in and then there were the highway men.

Stand and deliver your money or your life.

Stand and deliver your money or your life.

Highwaymen were really the closest we got to the wild-west cowboys but they were far to close to comfort for those who lived in those times.  They rode horses, often worked in pairs or gangs and held up travellers and stagecoaches imploring their victims to

Stand and deliver, your money or your life.

Depending on the morals of the highway men, handing over money, valuables or even women might be enough to save ones life but it was no guarantee.  If one refused to hand over their belongings or made a wrong move then they would be shot. This was particularly the case once a highway man had been identified as robbery by force was a Capital Offence and as such the highwayman had little reason to leave any witnesses.

Strangely, despite their despicable actions, highwaymen even at the time were thought to be socially superior than common thieves and brigands.  They were romanticised by many in a way similar to Robin Hood and were euphemistically referred to as Knights of the road or Gentlemen of the road.

A fellow of a good Name, but poor Condition, and worse Quality, was Convicted for laying an Embargo on a man whom he met on the Road, by bidding him Stand and Deliver, but to little purpose; for the Traveller had no more Money than a Capuchin, but told him, all the treasure he had was a pound of Tobacco, which he civilly surrendered.

The Proceedings of the Old Bailey, 25 April 1677

Highwaymen would often work on the roads that radiated from London and other major cities.  They would wait in ambush in the woods and heath-lands waiting for a tempting and poorly defended target.  Even modern day places of leisure such as Hyde Park was preyed on by Highwaymen in the 17th century and the short road between some of the Royal Palaces was the first road in the country to be lit by lamps during periods of nightfall.

Though many were armed with daggers and swords, most also sported muskets rather like my one below.  They could only fire one shot at a time and weren’t always accurate and so many highwaymen would have 2 muskets loaded and ready for action.

Early 18th century musket

Early 18th century British musket. Dick Turpin would have had two earlier varieties.

One of the most infamous highwaymen was Dick Turpin.  Dick Turpin was a deer thief, poacher, burglar, horse-thief, highwayman and murderer.  On his horse, Black Bess, he terrorised travellers on the 200 mile long route between London and York.

Dick Turpin and Black Bess

Dick Turpin and Black Bess

Born in 1705, he moved from York to the county of Essex as a young man where he became involved in the deer thievery trade and began working with the Essex Gang.  So many deers were taken that this minor domestic crime grew in importance and much effort was placed on breaking up the trade in the area leading to many gang members being caught or fleeing.

As such the few remaining members started raiding and robbing wealthy households of a certain social standing and in 1734/35 they carried out countless such raids.

On Saturday night last, about seven o’clock, five rogues entered the house of the Widow Shelley at Loughton in Essex, having pistols &c. and threatened to murder the old lady, if she would not tell them where her money lay, which she obstinately refusing for some time, they threatened to lay her across the fire, if she did not instantly tell them, which she would not do. But her son being in the room, and threatened to be murdered, cried out, he would tell them, if they would not murder his mother, and did, whereupon they went upstairs, and took near £100, a silver tankard, and other plate, and all manner of household goods. They afterwards went into the cellar and drank several bottles of ale and wine, and broiled some meat, ate the relicts of a fillet of veal &c. While they were doing this, two of their gang went to Mr Turkles, a farmer’s, who rents one end of the widow’s house, and robbed him of above £20 and then they all went off, taking two of the farmer’s horses, to carry off their luggage, the horses were found on Sunday the following morning in Old Street, and stayed about three hours in the house.

—Report from Read’s Weekly Journal (8 February 1735)

Soon things began to spiral out of control, the gang became more violent and their notoriety spread throughout the land.  When one of their number, a young lad of about 15 years of age, was caught, he quickly confessed and gave the authorities all they needed to know about the gang and Dick Turpin in particular who was described in the London Gazette  as “Richard Turpin, a butcher by trade, is a tall fresh coloured man, very much marked with the small pox, about 26 years of age, about five feet nine inches high, lived some time ago in Whitechapel and did lately lodge somewhere about Millbank, Westminster, wears a blue grey coat and a natural wig”.

The robberies continued as the gang hid in the impenetrable Epping Forest but four of their number were captured when drinking in London and they were hanged at the famous Tyburn gallows with their bodies being hung out to rot in gibbets along Edgware Road.  Dick Turpin evaded capture but he was now very much a wanted man.

Another string of robberies saw the remaining gang members injured, arrested and executed leaving Turpin to find a new profession, that of a highwayman. With a bounty of £100 on his head, Dick Turpin started his highway robberies in April 1735 in Epping Forest and through the summer attacked travellers on Hounslow Heath, a coach load of five people on Barnes Common before moving off to attack those in the county of Hertfordshire and then 70 miles south west towards Winchester.

It is thought that Turpin spent 1736 in the Netherlands continuing his highwayman career before returning to the Cambridge area in 1737 where he and two accomplishes held up a number of coaches and made many robberies until one got out of control leading to one of Turpin’s partners in crime being fatally shot.  Dick Turpin fled to his hideout in Epping Forest where he was discovered by Thomas Morris,a servant of one of the Forest keepers.   Morris attempted to capture the highway but was shot.

Dick Turpin shooting Morris in Epping Forest.

Dick Turpin shooting Morris in Epping Forest.

The London area was now too hot for Turpin who fled north through Lincolnshire and towards Yorkshire where though he tried to fit in under the assumed name of John Palmer with an identity of horse-trader and gentleman hunter.  His natural violent tendencies meant he kept coming to attention.  He once killed a cockerel in the street and when his owner complained in public, Turpin threatened to shoot him as well.

It was thought that John Palmer may have gained his wealth from criminal endeavours but when he was arrested for this minor crime and taken to jail, no-one suspected that they had the most wanted man in England.  This was all to change by an incredible and for Turpin and terribly unfortunate co-incidence.

From his cell, Turpin wrote a letter to his brother-in-law, Pompr Rivernall in Hempstead.  His brother-in-law though didn’t think he knew anyone from York and didn’t want to risk paying the postage for the 18th century equivalent of spam and so the letter was taken to the local post office.  Here James Smith a former school master who worked at the post office recognised the handwriting as being one of his former pupils, Dick Turpin.  Smith travelled up to York and identified John Palmer as Dick Turpin and collected the £200 reward (about £28,000 or $50,000 in today’s money).

At the time, theft and property crime was very serious. In fact many still believe that property crime is punished more seriously in the U.K. than murder.  There were over 200 theft and property offences punishable by death.  As Turpin had robbed some of the most important people in the kingdom and committed murder too, his conviction was almost an open and closed case.

It was not helpful that Turpin continually claimed his supposed witnesses and character references never turned and his request for more time and for the trial to be moved to Essex was turned down.  He was found guilty by the jury.

Before sentencing him, the judge asked Turpin if he could offer any reason why he should not be sentenced to death; Turpin said: “It is very hard upon me, my Lord, because I was not prepar’d for my Defence.” The judge replied: “Why was you not? You knew the Time of the Assizes as well as any Person here.” Despite Turpin’s pleas that he had been told the trial would be held in Essex, the judge replied: “Whoever told you so were highly to blame; and as your country have found you guilty of a crime worthy of death, it is my office to pronounce sentence against you”, sentencing him to death.

Before his execution, Turpin was visited my a long line of people, so many came over the coming days that the jailer made £100 selling them drinks.  The day before his death, Turpin bought new shoes and a coat as well as hiring 3 mourners for 3 pounds and 10 shillings.

Dick Turpin Trial

Dick Turpin Trial

On 7th April 1739, Dick Turpin and another unrelated criminal were taken by cart through York.  Turpin behaved impeccably and bowed to the assembled crowd.  An account in The Gentleman’s Magazine for 7 April 1739 notes Turpin’s brashness: “Turpin behaved in an undaunted manner; as he mounted the ladder, feeling his right leg tremble, he spoke a few words to the topsman, then threw himself off, and expir’d in five minutes.”

Grave of Dick Turpin

Grave of Dick Turpin

Turpin was left hanging all afternoon when he was cut down and buried the next morning at St. George’s church but within a few days, his body had been taken by grave robbers, mostly likely to sell his body for medical research.  The perpetrators were quickly found and he was reburied inside a quick lime tomb.

Since then, Dick Turpin has been immortalised by Victorian novelists, TV series and movies and in 1981 Adam and the Ants achieved global fame with the first of their historically themed records “Stand and Deliver” which was the number 1 hit in the UK for 5 weeks.  Dick Turpin was a dastardly criminal who much like figures such as Robin Hood before him and Billy the Kid afterwards has long since become a folk-hero.

Stand and Deliver

Stand and Deliver – What would Turpin make of this?

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Apple or Microsoft – The big dilemma

All these years of blogging I have been working on a 10 year old + PC, sometimes a first generation iPod and in the last year just occasionally an iPad Air.

Writing out a long blog on an iPod is quite a labour of love.  The tiny keyboard makes writing out a blog of several hundred or thousand words quite a task, let alone inserting photos and positioning everything just right.  However, in many way the old iPod is much better to use than my old PC.

My PC crashes perhaps 5 or 6 times a day but freezes at least a dozen times and many of the freezes stay frozen for a good minute or two until I give the computer a big fat reset.  It’s not much fun to use, much fun being my understated English way of saying what a total pain it is.

I’ve never been a fan of Microsoft PCs, primarily because I’ve never used one which has been so user-friendly, stable or just competent as my old Commodore Amiga computers of the 1980’s and 90’s which had me doing video effects, multitasking and modern every day computer tasks when most of the world were using typewriters or worse DOS PC’s.  All without sound card conflicts, video cards and complicated internet connections.

Amiga 1200 Workbench

Amiga 1200 Workbench

Sadly Amiga computers aren’t around any-more in a meaningful way and the closest to them have always been those from Apple.  Having now had an iPod and then an iPad for about 3 years now, I must say I love them.  They never crash, they work first time, all the time and they do just whatever I want them to do and I never have to worry about any of them.  Yes they are expensive but they also work and I’m the type of person that doesn’t have a lot of things but those I do are well made, last a lot longer and cost a bit more.  I’d rather pay extra for a real butchers sausage of beef or pork than a supermarket one that may contain horse.

Having said that, I’m really not into gadgets in a big way.  I always think it is funny when people obsess about not having their mobile phones with them or pay through the nose for a modern solution to an old-fashioned problem that doesn’t really exist.

My mobile phone is almost a relic of the 20th century.  It makes and receives calls, does the same with text messages if they are short and don’t contain and pictures and that’s about it.  It also holds its battery charge for about 2 months which means I know not the problems of having a phone connected to the plug every evening in fact if anything my problem is locating the phone charger which over a few months can get misplaced.

A non-smartphone

My non-smartphone

Unlike my PC, my mobile phone works perfectly and does more than anything I could want of it.  I’ve never understood why anyone would want to go on the internet when travelling or watch a TV or movie on a screen about the size of a post-it note.  I’ll just wait and do it properly on that big 50″ screen when I get home.  I’ll only get rid of my phone when it stops working or push button keyboards are outlawed in a way they are moving away from analogue tv and radio.  I admit it does get funny when people from Zimbabwe or Uzbekistan don’t quite get why someone in London doesn’t have a smart phone. My only answer and one I’d never give is why would you spend 2 months salary on a phone?  Though I know of course many places don’t have the luxury of big screen tv’s and unlimited broadband at home, the argument at least does hold for the poorest in the U.K., the oldest or indeed anyone who isn’t likely to use get real value from the monthly tariffs from phoning their friend and checking the weather forecast online whilst sat in their car looking out of the window.

So I’m thinking of getting a new computer.  It seems like the right thing to do seeing as I spend so much time writing on it.  It seems that most creative people go with Apple and I can see myself doing the same.  I know Windows based PCs are more popular and you get a lot more software for them both good and of the virus variety.  Apples are much harder to upgrade and aren’t very good for games but they are also more stable and generally less annoying once you get past the price-tag.

I don’t play computer games or watch videos of cute dogs skateboarding on You-tube.  In fact though my PC does have a very good sound-card, well at least for 2004, I don’t have any sound at all as I never bothered plugging in the speakers.  Does it bother me?  Not really.  My browser also doesn’t have any JavaScript or adobe flashes or any other major processor killing, joy sucking add-on so yes my web pages are kind of boring but I never have adverts or annoying advertising jingles.  I get on using my PC for what I do, write and read.



It shouldn’t be much of a problem copying my data over as really I don’t have much except a few holiday photos and writing assignments and stories in various stages of completion.  I’ve read that a big screen iMac can make the average user 20% more productive than average so any time lost will be quickly made up.  Anyway, the decision has already been made for me as Windows XP is no longer supported and one of the few pop banners I can’t avoid are the various software ones telling me to upgrade.  Upgrading Windows on my era of PC which is largely powered by a running hamster in a wheel means buying a new PC anyway and nothing in the last 20 years of using Windows has convinced me that any of it is any good or fun to use.

That takes me to the last question; a Macbook or a iMac.  Ideally I’d like both but that isn’t going to happen.  I have never really liked laptops. Possibly it is because I like to differentiate my work and life and always have done.  I don’t like sitting with a laptop on my knees on the sofa, half watching TV and half not doing what I’m meant to be doing instead.  I like a dedicated desk, preferably in a quiet room where I can get on and do things properly and quickly and then come back and rejoin the real world quicker than I might have done if was half-heartedly on the laptop.

Besides, 10 months on and I still love my iPad.  I wouldn’t have got one myself but in the preceding year having lost my mother and my job and seeing as no-one else in the family seemingly noticed it would be my 40th birthday and indeed 40th Christmas, my lovely wife decided my near 4 year wait meant I should be treated in a big way that I’m sure my mother would have approved.

iPad Air

Hello you

Where I go, so does the iPad.  In the kitchen, on the sofa, in the garden even the bathroom.  To me it more than fulfils the purpose of a laptop or a flashy smart phone except I don’t wait for it to boot up and have little pretence of doing any work on it… I still don’t watch videos on it though!

So it seems the choice has been made for me then, an iMac it is but the 21″ or 27″ screen.  Which ever, I’m sure it will be a lot better than what I have now or indeed have had ever since my trusty Amiga was shown the back-door.  However, when I will get it, I don’t know.  My PC is on its last legs but then it was last year and 2 or 3 years before that.


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