Cats that leave ‘presents’ in my garden

This post may be a little bit screamish but I’ll try and keep it as clean as possible. I live in a small house, I have a small garden too maybe 55 feet long and 18 feet wide. We’re surrounded by houses, one on the left, six on the right and seven behind us.

Most of them have cats from what I can tell. The neighbour on the left has a cat, the one on my right has three cats, the house 2 past them has several cats and I can see cats living in the gardens and on the shed roofs of the houses behind me. I am a dog type of person but I don’t have a dog and I don’t mind cats, I really don’t.

What I do have a problem with is cat poo. Specifically cat poo in my garden. In the last 24 hours there are at least 5 new deposits in my tiny garden, these being ones I can easily see next to my footpath, not those hidden away behind bushes, in the vegetable patch or wherever.

It is DISGUSTING. Why is it that dog owners face rightful prosecution if their dogs foul in the street or in public parks and yet cats and cat owners go unpunished whether they foul in public areas or more likely in private areas like my garden?

I’m sick of it, I’m sick of them. I am a human, I live in a settlement of humans not in a designated cat nature reservation yet every week, often every day a significant portion of my spare time is spent dealing with the disgusting end product of other peoples animals. Animals which unlike dogs are responsible for the deaths of 10,000’s of increasingly rare wild birds.

I should be allowed to enjoy my garden in peace, with no disgusting land mines around the place and without that awful smell.

To a degree, I know which of the 7 or so cats do which poos. Sometimes I feel like throwing it back over the fences of the respective owners. Maybe I should invoice them for the £50 or so a year spend on various cat deterrents that last only as long as either the rain doesn’t wash them away or snow which short circuits the more expensive ultra-sonic cat scarers.

Regulations were brought in to stop dogs fouling parks due to the likelyhood of children coming into contact with the crap. However surely children are much more likely to come into contact with poo in their own back gardens, the one place in the world they should be most free to play in peace.

I can tell you, there is nothing like the feeling and realisation that you have inadvertently put your hand in the stuff when weeding, tidying up or working in a vegetable patch.

Though I would never kill a cat myself or advocate anyone else doing so even on my behalf I do insist on doing anything possible to deter them from my garden whether firing water jets at them, water bombs, tennis balls, cat unfriendly plants or sticks near where they jump down from the fences. Sometimes I leave containers of water at tactical spots around the house and garden just so I can soak the cat. You’ve never such panic when one gets splashed or cornered. Maybe I should start flinging their own poo at them and see how they like it. Once you show them that you will chase them off your garden at all cost, even naked in the snow (don’t ask) then they start coming less and less. Winter time is often the worse as the wet weather makes them reluctant to poo far from home and long hours of darkness makes it hard to see them.

Once week 2 years ago in the winter I found 36 separate cat presents in the garden. I know because I had cleared 20 of them from the garden exactly 1 week earlier.

In no other area of life is it socially acceptable to suffer from other peoples crap. I can imagine what cat owners would say if I went round to their gardens and did my stuff on their lawn or right outside the door as often happens with cats and my house. It’s lovely getting that smell in the house, the first time you open a window and there is poo right under it.

Come on cat owners, sort yourselves out and make sure your cat does its stuff in your own house or garden and stop this disgusting biological warfare against innocent neighbours. Maybe there should be a new law to bring cat owners into line with dog owners, maybe they should be made liable for all the waste littered on private property. This is one blog where I’ve not included photos at it is all completely too vile. If anyone can think of a reason why it is acceptable for cats to poo in my garden, I would love to hear it.

It seems to be cat owners are often people who want the cuteness of having a cuddly animal but not the responsibility of looking after it. Just as it is seen to be unsuitable to gave fogs stay in tower blocks then maybe cats should not be allowed in terraced housing or houses where gardens are of a small size. Owners can get cat proof fences that keep their pets on their land but that costs them time and money and it seems they much prefer to use both of mine.


About Stephen Liddell

I am a writer and traveller with a penchant for history and getting off the beaten track. With several books to my name including several #1 sellers. I also write environmental, travel and history articles for magazines as well as freelance work. I run my private tours company with one tour stated by the leading travel website as being with the #1 authentic London Experience. Recently I've appeared on BBC Radio and Bloomberg TV and am waiting on the filming of a ghost story on British TV. I run my own private UK tours company (Ye Olde England Tours) with small, private and totally customisable guided tours run by myself!
This entry was posted in Life and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Cats that leave ‘presents’ in my garden

  1. Hmm… Something tells me you’re not familiar with being a cat owner… Am I correct? 🙂

    Come on, man; they’re cats!  Unless they are expensive pedigree cats, that live permanently indoors (which I think is cruel. Cats are curious creatures by nature, and so they need the freedom to roam – like lions, tigers, jaguars, etc.), then how can you stop a cat from defecating when outside and away from home? Unlike dogs, it is quite ludicrous to take one’s cat out on a lead, to monitor their “toilet habits”! Besides, even of one trains their cats to use the litter tray whilst indoors, a cat doesn’t have the sense to run home half a mile (or even next-door), just to use the “bathroom”. Cats are like small children, and can’t just “hold it in” until they get home to use the toilet. They will defecate anywhere, just like a dog will. But, the difference is, we can monitor dogs, as they are seldom left to roam unattended, and dogs usually like the company of their owner when outside – cats do not, and do not have the nature to really deal with a leash attached to them, as they cannot roam (which is their instinct). Some people do it, though, with their pedigree cats, in case someone steals their cat.

    Have you considered that cats use vegetable patches as toilets, because an organised row can sometimes resemble a litter tray of sorts? It might be that it just seems familiar to them instinctively, which is why they think of your vegetable patch as a litter tray. 

    The only way to really train the cats not to pop on your patch, is to call the cat over when they’re on your land, and then rub their nose in their own faeces. That’s what some owners do with their dogs and cats defecate somewhere that they shouldn’t have. It doesn’t hurt the kitten/puppy, but it teaches them that faeces are unpleasant, and to think twice about where they defecate in future. It might, in this case, also make the cats think twice about entering your garden again, in case the “nasty man” rubs poo in their noses again! 😉 Bless them. 🙂

    It is annoying for you, I know. I also know that cat faeces can smell particularly nasty. 

    Good luck. 


    • Yes I should perhaps take it as a compliment that they like my garden. I tried to do the same 2 years ago when a Queen bee set up her hive in the garden. It was fascinating to watch the bees come and go, they obviously loved the garden and they didn’t touch us people. The next year they had gone as apparently they do.

      I read a report today that says that 24 billion birds and small mammals in the United States are killed by domestic cats each year and that they are considered the greatest threat to the mass extinction of species… after humans of course.

      No new poo today. Maybe my rant put them off. I will be out with the shovel on saturday morning. It comes off the grass easier when it is just above freezing. 🙂 Urgh I know….


  2. gpcox says:

    My cats used to do this, to me it shows that they can give unconditional love just like dogs.


    • Thanks for your comment. By the way, I really like your blog. When everyone else my age was watching cartoons I remember re-watching the old Sands of Iwo Jima film many times along with Brigdge over the River Kwai.

      In the U.K., the Pacific arena is often forgotten despite the huge battles there and the large loss of British life. I can only guess it is because the existential war with Germany so much closer to home.

      I’m happy that there are blogs likes yours that re-dress the balance.


A blog is nothing with out feedback, please give me some!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s