Wimbledon Woes

Driving in to work today pondering whether cars in the U.K have an option to drive without the windscreen wipers on, I’m sure they must do but I haven’t seen any evidence for months that they do it occurred to me that parents who want their children to be successful tennis players should take more care choosing their names rather than ferrying their children to and fro tennis clubs after school.

For the last 15 years the UK number one tennis players seem to have lent their name to an area of Wimbledon.  First off we had Henman Hill, then Rusedski Ridge.  Maybe Jeremy Bates would have done better before Henman if we had had Bates Brow though obviously a brow is no mount.  Laura Robson has potential as she can have Robson Rise but for all future players I’d advise that they consider changing their names by deed-poll to make use of the of some of the following:

Peters peak

Dennis drop

Smith slope

Gardiner gradient

Keegans knoll

Hendersons hummock

Mikes moor

Irenes incline

Andersons alp

Christophers cairngorn

I’ve heard the secret to Fred Trumans success was Trumans Tor.  Maybe as Mount Murray is good enough to be a finalist there is only one way to secure a British victory at Wimbledon and that is for Eddie Everest to come to pick up a racket!

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About Stephen Liddell

I am a writer and traveller with a penchant for history and getting off the beaten track. With several books to my name including a #1 seller, I also write environmental, travel and history articles for magazines as well as freelance work. Recently I've appeared on BBC Radio and Bloomberg TV and am waiting on the filming of a ghost story on British TV. I run my own private UK tours company (Ye Olde England Tours) with small, private and totally customisable guided tours run by myself!
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