It’s hard to believe but I am approaching my 10th month without any pay or government support during the Coronavirus epidemic. The government of course continue to lie and the country largely doesn’t care at all even though I personally know of 7 people in the #ExcludedUK group who have committed suicide in recent days.
Yesterday Chancellor ‘Fishy’ Rishi Sunak made the bizarre step whilst under pressure on a news interview of stating he had speaking with us at ExcludedUK despite the fact he never has and indeed has repeatedly turned down requests to do so from hundreds of thousands of us and indeed countless times in Parliament when asked to do so my MPs.
I’m never quite sure how wealthy Rishi who then married into a family of billionaires can related to ordinary people. It’s useful that he has a big nose I guess as it’s hard to notice any different when it gets longer whenever he talks… or lies…. same thing really.
So I’ve made a Freedom of Information Request to see all the information about his meetings with us. I must say, I don’t remember attending any of them even though I regularly offer to meet him and other cowardly liars such as Steve Barclay and Nadhim Zahawi. For some reason they don’t want to meet me or anyone else from our group on television. You’d think they would leap at the chance to show us all up but of course they won’t because if they did meet up it would expose their lies to the world.
Anyway I can see why sometimes accountants have this boring image. I know it isn’t true of everyone but if the chief accountant in the U.K. can only make up lies about us then he hasn’t much of an imagination. His day certainly sounded more boring than my day.
I had such an amazing day yesterday. Don’t ever have breakfast with Lee Mack! He made me laugh so much I snorted porridge out of my nostrils as opposed to some MPS who have snorted other stuff up their nostrils.
Then my old friend Sir Ian McKellan asked me round to his pub and we had a lock-in. He is a right handful when he gets drunk I can tell you. I’m not sure he should even be doing that stuff with his Gandalf hat.
In the afternoon I went for a bike ride with Daniel Craig in Hyde Park. I asked about whether he could assassinate someone for me. He looked intrigued but when I mentioned Rishi and he started such a string of profanities that he lost control of his bike and cycled into the Serpentine. The last words I made out is that Rishi Sunak is a piece of stinking…. and then it went quiet.
Fortunately I was close to the Palace so I just about had time to for tea and scones at Kensington with William and Kate. It was hard to concentrate as every time I mentioned Boris, little Prince George starting giggling about him being Mr Poo-Poo face. William and Kate said he wasn’t meant to say that infant of visitors but we all laughed about it in the end.
And now here I am the morning after. You might think I am bleary eyed because I’m Excluded and can’t afford to get my bedroom window fixed so I can actually close it but let met say you’d be totally wrong. What a night with Beyonce! I can’t say much more, it’s almost like it never happened.
Wow Rishi Sunak is a bad liar!
Only one thing in the preceding paragraphs is true, can you guess which? It’s not Beyonce.