All About Cockneys & The 150 Top Cockney Rhyming Slang Phrases

Almost everyone knows what a Cockney is or at least they think they do.   Famously they are the original Londoners known for their cheeky banter, no nonsense approach to life and perhaps being a bit rough.   Actually a lot rough.  The amount of London gangster films has given to a film genre in itself, all populated by brutish cockneys with a sometimes unexpected moral code.

Having put up with centuries of deprivation, exploitation, Great Fires, serial killers and Luftwaffe bombings then it is little wonder that Cockneys have a certain reputation.  These days the worst estates in London have been known to fight off alien invasions and even zombies.

But what actually constitutes a Cockney.  London is actually a huge city, officially around 600 square miles or 1,000 square kilometers and that doesn’t include all the outying districts that strictly speaking aren’t London but in reality pretty much are.

Historically speaking to be a Cockney you have to have been born within earshot of a single specific church, St Mary-Le-Bow or Bow Bells for short.   In times past, the bells could be heard over quite a distance (around 10 miles across) as can be seen on the map below.  However in the 21st century, the area in which the bells are audible is very much reduced due largely to the noise of cars, aeroplanes and building heating and cooling systems.

However, despite the area where one is technically able to be born a Cockney has reduced, in reality, the area that Cockneys live has never been wider.  Due to populations being relocated after The Blitz to more outlying locations and even different counties such as Essex, the Cockney dialect has taken hold over a good chunk of London though of course true Cockneys would dispute the newcomers status.

Aside from the Hugh Grant, upper class Notting Hill type, according to Hollywood, everyone else in the whole of Britain speaks Cockney.  All 65 million of us…. even the ones 900 miles from London.     In reality, if a Hollywood producer was spoken to in the famous Cockney Rhyming Slang it is likely that they wouldn’t understand a single word of it.  That’s ok, even other British people might only know a few of the most famous ones.

There is a reason for this of course and that is that it is likely that they were created almost as a secret code to allow for covert and often dodgy conversations to take place right in front of the police, visitors or customers.  Whilst many people might know that Rosie Lee is Tea or Apples and Pears means stairs, the idea of it is that with many of them, only the first word is spoken.  This is even the case with modern iterations.  Few would say that they want a Britney Spears or beers, they’d just ask for a Britney.

Below is a fine selection of Cockney Rhyming Slang to help you learn to speak propa like.   Some from the wonderful Londontopia site and others were rattling around my loaf (see number 65).   There are many more to go with these but I did have to edit out dozens of rude or possibly offensive ones.

1. Adam and Eve – believe
2. Alan Whickers – knickers
3. apples and pears – stairs
4. Artful Dodger – lodger
5. Ascot Races – braces
6. Aunt Joanna – piano
7. Baked Bean – Queen
8. Baker’s Dozen – Cousin
9. Ball of Chalk – Walk
10. Barnaby Rudge – Judge
11. Barnet Fair – hair
12. Barney Rubble – trouble
13. Battlecruiser – boozer
14. bees and honey – money
15. bird lime – time (in prison)
16. Boat Race – face
17. Bob Hope – soap
18. Bottle and glass – arse
19. Brahms and Liszt – pissed (drunk)
20. Brass Tacks – facts
21. Bread and Cheese – sneeze
22. Bread and Honey – money
23. Bricks and Mortar – daughter
24. Bristol City – breasts
25. Brown Bread – dead
26. Bubble and Squeak – Greek
27. Bubble Bath – Laugh
28. Butcher’s hook – a look
29. Chalfont St. Giles – piles
30. Chalk Farm – arm
31. china plate – mate (friend)
32. Cock and Hen – ten
33. Cows and Kisses – Missus (wife)
34. currant bun – sun (also The Sun, a British newspaper)
35. custard and jelly – telly (television)
36. Daisy Roots – boots
37. Darby and Joan – moan
38. Dicky bird – word
39. Dicky Dirt – shirt
40. Dinky Doos – shoes
41. Dog and bone – phone
42. Plates of meat – feet [from early 20th c.]
43. Duck and Dive – skive
44. Duke of Kent – rent
45. Dustbin lid – kid
46. Elephant’s Trunk – drunk
47. Fireman’s Hose – nose
48. Flowery Dell – cell
49. Frog and Toad – road
50. Gypsy’s kiss – piss
51. Half-inch – pinch (to steal)
52. Hampton Wick – prick
53. Hank Marvin – starving
54. Irish Jig – wig
55. Isle of Wight – tights
56. jam-jar – car
57. Jayme Gibbs
58. Jimmy Riddle – piddle
59. Joanna – piano (pronounced ‘pianna’ in Cockney)
60. Khyber Pass – arse
61. Kick and Prance – dance
62. Lady Godiva – fiver
63. Laugh n a joke – smoke
64. Lionel Blairs – flares
65. Loaf of Bread – head
66. loop the loop – soup
67. Mickey Bliss – piss
68. Mince Pies – eyes
69. Mork and Mindy – windy’
70. north and south – mouth
71. Orchestra stalls – balls
72. Pat and Mick – sick
73. Peckham Rye – tie
74. plates of meat – feet
75. Pony and Trap – crap
76. raspberry ripple – nipple
77. raspberry tart – fart
78. Roast Pork – fork
79. Rosy Lee – tea (drink)
80. Round the Houses – trousers
81. Rub-a-Dub – pub
82. Ruby Murray – curry
83. Sausage Roll – goal
84. Septic tank – Yank
85. Sherbert (short for sherbert dab) – cab (taxi)
86. Skin and Blister – sister
87. Sky Rocket – pocket
88. Sweeney Todd – flying squad
89. syrup of figs – wig
90. tables and chairs – stairs
91. tea leaf – thief
92. Todd Sloane – alone
93. Tom and Dick – sick
94. tom tit – shit
95. tomfoolery – jewellery
96. Tommy Trinder – window
97. trouble and strife – wife
98. two and eight – state (of upset)
99. Vera Lynn – gin
100. Whistle and flute – suit (of clothes)
101. All gone Pete Tong  – Wrong
102. Lester Piggot – Bigot
103. Cream Crackered – Knackered
104. Dustbin lids – Kids
105. Rocking Horse – Sauce
106. Jockey Whips – Chips
107. Bubble and Squeak – Greek
108. Soccy Doo – Clue
109. Skin and blisters – Sister
110. Rock and Roll – Dole
111. Nelson Mandella – Stella
112. Godiva – Fiver or £5
113. Score = £20
114. Pony – £25
115. Tonne = £100
116. Monkey = £500
117. Grand = £1000
118. Richard III = Turd
119. Haystack – Back
120. Eye Lash – Slash
121. Birds Nest – Chest
122. Khyber Pass – Arse
123. Lord Lovel – Shovel
124. Baden Powell – Towel
125. Daisy Roots – Boots
126. Bristol City – Breasts
127. Swiss Navy – Gravy
128. Ian Beales – Wheels
129. Nigel Benn – 10
130. Chicken Dippers or Yorkshires (Rippers) – Slippers
131. Aristotle – Arse
132. Brad Pitt – Guess 🙂  Just one of many for that word
133. Mae West – Vest
134. Turtle Gloves – Doves
135. Roll and butter – Nutter
136. Tit for tat – Hat
137. Kettle and hob – Fob (watch)
138. Icecream Freezer – Geezer
139. Tin Bath – Laugh
140. Drum Roll – Hole (Basic place to live)
141. Edna Everage – Beverage
142. Rabbit and Pork – Talk
143. Oily Rag – Fag (Cigarette for Americans!!)
144. Borassic Lint – Skint
145. Potato Mould – Cold
146. Britney Spears – Beers
147. Gregory Peck – Cheque
148. Hamstead Heath – Teeth
149. Artdul Dodger – Lodger
150. Lemonade – Spade

Of course if you want a genuine London tour to see the tourist parts, the posh parts or you want a proper old knees up in authentic London then let me know at www.yeoldenglandtours.co.uk